Practice Radical Compassion! I recently celebrated my 60th birthday, and it has me thinking about milestones. My last professional milestone was the publication of my parenting book ten years ago. Even though my kids are grown and gone, no longer needing much parenting, I’m still fascinated by the subject. Watching […]
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eExSiG__kSM Grit Happens at the End of Your Comfort Zone! To bolster players in our final week of the 2023 season, my Mama T talks were about how endurance only develops outside our comfort zone. Our DNA is programmed to see threats around every corner. As cavemen, we were safe […]
Find Your Why! The most prescient issues from my volleyball girls this month are “How can I play well when I’m feeling drained” and “How do I keep from feeling bad because I’m playing badly?”. I’ve heard versions of the same complaints from my adult clients, and I have a […]
We’re all familiar with the old adage “Practice makes perfect”. But that’s just a Three-card Monte game of disappointment, because perfect doesn’t last. Sure we can get 100% on a test, an inspired project, or a stunning hit on the volleyball court, but that level of achievement isn’t sustainable; we […]
Our Mama T talks at 850 Elite this week were all about stress and how it affects our life on and off the court. I set up comment boxes around the center to collect anonymous suggestions for topics that are important in our players’ lives. By far the most common […]
Let’s De-Fang Compare and Despair! One of the first life coaching tools I learned back in 2010 was “Compare and Despair.“ Working with teenage girls, I see the worst version of that phrase. I coach girls who compare themselves to classmates, social media and teammates who are bigger, stronger or […]
Leadership has always been an important topic for me as I navigated through great teachers and bosses, as well as the occasional emotional vampire. As I have a speaking gig in February on leadership, I’ve been pondering effective leaders in the workplace as well as on the volleyball court. This […]
In my corporate coaching, I specialize in time management. My most important bullet point is “time management is actually emotion management”. The more thoroughly we can explore whatever emotions are guiding us, the easier it is to process them and return to our mission. Ignoring or suppressing challenging emotions never […]
Happy New Year!! With the dawn of the New Year comes the inevitable push for a resolution or two. In the past, I’ve had big expectations of a slimmer, calmer self, as I etched my resolutions into stone. Only to be frustrated when those expectations didn’t manifest. The cornerstone of […]
It’s 2 days until Thanksgiving, y’all–gird your loins! Dr. Jenn and I did a Facebook Live to address the holiday stress everyone encounters including the “perfect” moms who look like they have it all together. I used to espouse a version of that, with the beautifully appointed house and […]
I’m writing this in the passenger seat as my husband drives, something I’ve done eleventy-nine times in the last 20 years. The road ahead and my sweet man beside me form a cocoon of creativity where I can do what I love most—turning feelings into words. I haven’t always been […]
In honor of Halloween, I’m changing my battle cry from “Hail to the Crone!” to a more festive version. Both are equal names, witch or crone, for an older woman who has gained power and self-confidence through challenge and experience. Witches have been maligned throughout history for being powerful. A […]
Last month’s blog described the last six months of difficult feelings. I was triggered a lot, and when I’m trauma-triggered, I fall into some old habits. I try to fill the hold in my heart with comfort foods that don’t bring me lasting comfort. This is a habit I […]
For most of my life I’ve ignored my feelings, because they disrupted efficiently completing my onerous TODO list. But I can’t ignore my feelings anymore, no matter how much I want to control them. In the last six months, I’ve learned that feelings can either get in the way or […]
I had a dream last night that I was a brand new student in a writing class. The teacher said “Begin!” and the class started to write a timed essay. Except I didn’t have any paper, and the only writing implement I had was a highlighter. I hunted everywhere for […]
Throwback blog to Sept. 2012!! SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO BE SILENT We all know the old adage, “Do as I say, not as I do;” well, that never works–especially with teenagers. What’s more effective with teens is a two to one (or greater) ratio of listening to talking. Teens […]
Have you ever wondered why we get into a deep blue funk from time to time? When you are in a deep blue funk, do you try to blame other people for putting you there? “Why can’t my husband respect me enough to pick up his nasty boxers and put […]
Random acts of kindness are sometimes as helpful for the giver as well as the receiver. I remember, not too long ago, when I was plagued with resistance and frustration. I tried to buy my way out of that stuck place, and I acquired a plethora of gorgeous shoes and […]
Random acts of kindness are sometimes as helpful for the giver as well as the receiver. I remember, not too long ago, when I was plagued with resistance and frustration. I tried to buy my way out of that stuck place, and I acquired a plethora of gorgeous shoes and […]
When it comes to parenting, I think we are like my fluffy Goldendoodle; we are always on the wrong side of the door. It doesn’t matter if he’s been inside for only 2.5 seconds; he still wants to go outside. Whereas, when he gains his freedom, he’s immediately whining to […]